The moment of your first look

This is the moment you have dreamed about. It’s your wedding day, and in an effort to be practical and kind to your guests, you decide to do what’s become wildly popular – the first look – with your groom.

Your groom is waiting for you at the front of the church with his back turned. You, in all your wedding day beauty, walk up behind him to tap him in the shoulder. You anticipate an emotional experience as he turns and gazes upon you in your wedding finery for the first time. You embrace. You kiss. It is a magical moment.

At least this is how it’s supposed to be. In reality, it goes more like this: Your groom is waiting for you at the front of the church with his back turned. You begin to walk up the aisle behind him. Then the videographer shouts out, telling you to stop. The camera angle needs to be adjusted. The photographer is standing right beside you, snapping shots and flashing away. As you reach your groom, you are again told to halt and given more instructions. You are told to tap him on the right shoulder, and the groom is told to turn to his right so the cameras have the perfect angle of that magical moment.

Don’t spoil the moment

It kind of spoils the moment, doesn’t it?

With me being a wedding photographer and videographer, I understand the desire to be in the right spot to capture this special moment perfectly. However, I understand the need as well of the couple to share this moment in the way they want to share it.

I hadn’t given much thought to any of this until a bride and groom I photographed a few months ago said they wanted to share their first look with as few distractions as possible. It was an epiphany. It had never occurred to me before this that the bride and groom might want this moment for themselves – that they might not want to be given instructions during this moment from their photographer and/or videographer.

So I have a new attitude and new tact when it comes to the first look. The rule now is basically to stand back and give the couple space. Use a longer camera lens if necessary to get the shot. If instructions are needed, give them before the first look starts. Tell the bride and groom what they should do – actually they will welcome instructions because this is new to them. But once the moment starts – don’t interrupt it.

Tell your photographers you want your moment

Brides and grooms should not be hesitant to tell their photographers and videographers that they want to share this special moment amongst themselves, not with them. It is the job of the photographers and videographers to comply with your wishes while still getting the shots.

We can still get the good first look shots from a distance. We can capture the emotion the first go-around, and if necessary we can always do a second running of the first look just for the camera to get some other incidental shots.

After all – it should be the desire of your camera professionals to let you have your special moment.